Ideal US – Ideal

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Album Review by Mark Bayross

f you like your r n’ b smooth and saccharine like R Kelly and Boys II Men, you’ll dig this release by American (as hinted at by their name) soulsters Ideal US.

If, like me, you’d rather have your teeth pulled out one by one by a rabid grizzly bear with a pair of rusty pliers than listen to this weedy crap, then I’d advise against this release. Every single track on this album seems the same to me, all just as tedious. You know the format: soft, slow grooves; crystal clear production; over-the-top warbling and cod-gospel vocal histrionics.

CREEP INN has a pleasant string lead-in before the poker-up-the-arse vocals start up, while SEXY DANCER, about the only song here with a bit of vitality, has a harp in the background. The group also manage a bit of a-cappella (“Ideally Yours”) – unfortunately it’s only for a minute and a half.

In case you haven’t already guessed, this is cheesier than an explosion in a cheddar factory. Rhyming “I’ll love you forever” with “through the stormy weather” (on JEALOUS SKIES) may make their first grade poetry teacher proud, but cuts little ice with me, I’m afraid.

Ideal? Only as an instrument of torture.

1 star