50 First Dates

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Movie Review by Dr Kuma

Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Sean Astin, Kent Avenido
Director: Peter Segal

Henry Roth (Adam Sandler- easily the most irritating, monotonous lead in Hollywood at this time) is a veterinarian (if he really was against harming mammals, then the first 15 minutes of this film would never have been inflicted on anything with an IQ above a Koala bear – and then stoned most of the time) living in Hawaii who enjoys the company of vacationing women with nothing to do, which is why he scores. The intro to this film, which shows several very attractive women (and others) saying that he is the world’s greatest lover and that he showed them the greatest time of their lives is forced to say the least.

Obviously these people must have been on day release from the sanitarium as stuck for more than 15 minutes with Sandler’s drone must send anyone nuts. He obviously has the advantage that they are on an island and can’t escape. He leaves the playboy life behind after he falls for Lucy (a once again very attractive Barrymore), who suffers from short-term memory loss after a car accident (which much be catching as I struggled to remember anything decent about this movie to write here after seeing it) . Since she can never remember meeting him (lucky her), Henry has to romance Lucy every single day and hope that she falls for him. (A poor man’s GROUNDHOG DAY anyone?)

The only thing I can say about this film with passion is thank goodness that it really didn’t go through 50 dates as by the third I was really struggling. This movie possesses some of the worst dialogue committed to celluloid for some time. For example, the asexual helper at Sandler’s aquarium delivers the line “I realized that I prefer sausage to taco” when asked if he’d (she’d) scored with an attractive blonde girl that Sandler had turned down.

This is one of the first movies in a long time that I considered walking out of, but I have to be honest, it really does improve after about 20 minutes (not hard- so does rain) and the cinematography is really beautiful.

To be frank, I’ve not come across anything set in Hawaii this bad since the famously bad Elvis movie PARADISE, HAWAIIAN STYLE in which the King classically sings to dogs in a helicopter. This isn’t far off, Barrymore who asks a walrus (it may have been a sea lion) if she should go out with Sandler, to which the animal gives her the ok – really folks it’s that bad. Even the song Sandler sings is worse than the worst Elvis song in that film “Juicy” rhyming “Lucy” etc, etc.

Some of the support is funny and there are one or two scenes that gave this film one more star than it deserved (really it was the landscape and the best use of a sunset for some time that gleaned it, not the actors or story). If you are a 14 year-old girl who has nothing to do, then you may enjoy this, but realistically all you 14 year-old girls, go and hire a really good movie and watch it with your friends as the makers of this tripe aren’t quite sure if it’s you or a the target group a couple of years older who would enjoy a supposed romance with forced smutty innuendo there to hopefully gain a cheap laugh. The critics I watched it with were as animated as the ash covered stone statues at Pompeii, but that was wholly down to the film. Really, lets be honest, the producers have under valued both of these teen groups, who are both clever enough to realize that this is trash and must be sick of being talked down to in the same way we all hope that Sandler, the once very funny lead in THE WEDDING SINGER, escapes from the time warp he seems to be in and that he wakes up and realizes that everything he has done since, especially PUNCH DRUNK LOVE and this, has been shite.

Dr Kuma’s verdict: 2 out of 6 stars
and, as said, one of those stars is for cinematography. You too will have short-term memory loss trying to remember this an hour after you leave, which is about the only comforting words I can give you. Avoid.

2 out of 6 stars