House Of Wax

Movie Review by Dr Kuma

Starring: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Paris Hilton
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to see a horror film at the flicks. I’d been put off after all the ones I’d seen of late tended to be just frighteningly bad as opposed to frightening, movies just relying on really crap soundtracks played so loud that it kept you from falling asleep from boredom normally using “songs” from US death metal bands as forgettable as the films themselves for no other reason than to say “Hey kids, don’t get bored, we made this for you and it rocks.” Mostly they just sucked.

It is with utter joy then that I say that the HOUSE OF WAX is one of the daftest, most stupid and most entertaining horror flicks I’ve seen in a long time. It reminded me of why I loved the genre so much in the first place and was far more in keeping with the original classic’s NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and FRIDAY THE 13TH than the recent FREDDY VS. JASON hybrid debacles. HOUSE OF WAX was a real return to genres late 70’s early 80’s formats e.g. a group of teens being hunted down by “A Shape” who find themselves in ever more unbelievable situations and who are deployed in ever more unbelievable ways to progress a plot to 90 mins in an entertaining (not too offensive) way with an eye on a good shock rather than for just another excuse for gore. Although the cast here has its irritating genre clones, it’s well acted enough to even let Paris Hilton shine and has enough in-jokes at her expense for us to believe that she may have a good sense of humour.

The movie, after a start which lead me to fear the worst (as I sat through the usual “this is the jock, this is the easy lay, this is the virgin, this is the misunderstood youth, this token black guy” character build up set to said crap soundtrack) then fires on all cylinders with one effective shock and surprise following another that entertains as much is it nods to the absurd premise of the whole thing. The story follows along the lines of the usual well mapped genre route where a bunch of teens have car trouble and find themselves directed towards a deserted local town by someone who looks as though they were a left over extra in DELIVERANCE. This quiet town of Ambrose, Louisiana seems to have nothing of interest, but, as the youths look for a part for their broken down car they spot an out of place attraction – a House of Wax. While the crazy kids wait for the garage owner to emerge from what seems like a local funeral, they enter the House of Wax to pass the time. They are amazed that the whole building is actually made out of wax, as is everything inside! This is only the first of many surprises that the house, the town and its inhabitants have to offer…

If you’re a fan of 80’s style horror films, don’t delay, pay for your admission ticket to THE HOUSE OF WAX now. Hurry, hurry, step right on in…

Dr Kuma’s verdict: A modern “re-imagining” of a genre classic with a nod to the past. Go see what happens when meddling kids burn the candle at both ends on a night on the town.

5 out of 6 stars
Dr Kuma’s “Would You Believe?”

1. The movie was shut down during production when a huge fire engulfed the House Of Wax set. Police later found out that the blaze was caused by… a falling candle. The smoke from the blaze affected travel on several freeways and could be seen for miles around.

2. It has yet to be confirmed that Paris Hilton was drawn to the script as she thought the film was about an agency who, using a shop called House Of Wax as cover, employed ladies in a similar way to CHARLIES ANGELS as undercover “Commando’s”. I’m led to believe from people who have seen One Night In Paris that she had been preparing for the role when this video was filmed.

3. It has yet to be confirmed that the director of HOUSE OF WAX was seen congratulating Paris on her acting, only to discover that he’d been filming her wax double when the real one arrived on set.