Transporter

Movie Review by Dr Kuma

Starring: Jason Statham, Shu Qi, François Berleand, Matt Schulze, Tcheky Karyo

Director: Corey Yuen

Ex-Special Forces operator Frank Martin (Jason Statham) is a one man operation, self employed if you like, hiring himself out as a ‘transporter’ who moves goods. No not a courier, a transporter – his packages sometimes being a little large to fit on a bicycle. A body for example. Like an ad in Yellow pages, “he’ll shift anything – no questions asked”.

His latest client, ‘Wall Street’, has hired him to make a delivery, but when Frank stops along route, he notices his ‘package’ is moving. Violating his own personal rules, Frank looks inside the bag, finding its contents to be…

Well if that doesn’t make you want to see the movie, what will? Fact is, don’t blame me if you do go and find that it’s disappointing. That’s what happens when you look into Pandora’s box – there are things you shouldn’t really see. If you miss this little film then don’t worry, it’s not that you shouldn’t see it, you might just think it’s all an anti-climax and wish you hadn’t seen it at all.

These are the only questions I have.

The first: What ever happened to Luc Besson? Wake up my friend- cultdom misses you.

The second: What kind of accent does Statham try to pull off? If we were upset by the Cockney accents that befell our ears in MARY POPPINS and OCEAN’S ELEVEN, then Americans are pissing themselves at Statham’s efforts. It is the kind of cod accent that an English guy uses telling a joke in a pub about an American. His voice coach obviously just said “Get off ya horse and drink ya milk” several times, as most 12 year-olds do. The one saving grace is that most people will be impressed with the effects and choreography of the fight scenes.

Dr Kuma’s verdict: Wait and see the package of the video. You can wait. It’s second-class.

3 out of 6 stars

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