Yanni – If I Could Tell You

Album Review by EDF

Hands up all those of you that remember the piano wizard / genius / party animal / ‘I can kill a decent tune by hitting the piano keys with a hammer’ Richard Clayderman. Hmm I thought so.

Those of us that grew up in the eighties still have to go to therapy to get over how bad that music was. The best way to sum up this album and I haven’t even told you what the tracks are like yet is that this is dinner party music for the 21st Century. I cannot stop shivering at the thought that someone at ****** ******* (name of record label withheld or else they won’t send us any more music to review) actually likes this. As we all should know, dinner parties are a reminder that God does exist and he hates us. Right now, he’s probably having a big bellyful of a laughing fit knowing this CD exists.

How bad is it really? Well it starts off like a cross between Enya and Enigma lite. We have African type chants for WISHING WELL. On THE FLAME WITHIN, MIDNIGHT HYMN and A WALK IN THE RAIN we find more evidence of the subtle piano playing that makes me want to take up carpentry.

The other main problem is that the music is trying to evoke emotion and Leonard Nimoy showed more emotion playing Mr. Spock in any episode of Star Trek then the 60 odd minutes that this CD has to offer.

If you want music in the background for your dinner parties where the subject of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll won’t be mentioned in any one sentence, then this is for you and your guests. On the other hand this is the right present to buy the person you hate.

Me, I would prefer to be a turkey in November than have to listen to this again.

zero stars

Or

3 stars

Like God, I can have a laugh too.

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